Saturday, August 29, 2015
That quote speaks volumes to me, always has because i'm the kind of person who gets hurt too easily and tries my best to hide it because I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings, then I sob into my fiancee's arms (God Bless that man) while he convinces me that it's okay. Pretty silly, huh? But the truth is, I care too much. I got my soft heart from my mama. She really is the sweetest. I've learned from her. I've tried so hard not to let it show when I'm hurt by someone's actions. I cover the hurt with an excuse for that person, accept their apology and move on. Life's hard, we're all struggling with something, right? Sure, we are, but I feel like sometimes people use excuses to get out of something. Maybe they need time alone or maybe they really are feeling bad. I know we all have those times but that's why i've started saying exactly why i'm saying no to other's invitations. If I need some me time I say "thank you for thinking of me but I really need some alone time" or "thank you for thinking of me but I need to do this, this, and this". Whatever the case may be I'm learning to say it, not just say "I really don't feel well" unless I really am sick. I never want the people I love to think i'm just avoiding them & not making them a priority. People may get hurt by you saying no but they'll hurt less if they know it's the truth and not a lie. I never want to be the type of person that people expect me to say no or to bail out on them when we have plans. If I make plans with you then i'm sticking them out unless I truly can't. I guess that's what gets me hurt. I expect others to do the same but I can't expect everyone to have a heart like mine.
The thing about planning my wedding is, i've gotten to see who is really there for me & there are one or two exceptions to this because these people have been dealing with things that are far more important. Things that I truly do understand and would do the same if I had to. People that weren't my very best friends have become through this & we're super close now. My sister in law and I have gotten even closer and this has made me see that I really do need to take the extra initiative to keep even better in touch with her and my brother. I've gotten even closer to her sister, too! And my Mom, of course I've always been close to her but it's been sweet to share these moments with her, of course. It's also shown me the opposite but through it all I choose to be happy and celebrate with those who truly want to celebrate with me & share this journey in our next chapter together!!!