Full Heart.

This last week has been a week full of nothingness. It's been the kind of week that wasn't Instagram worthy or blog worthy. I've done nothing spectacular. I've taken time out and just been me. There's been no running around like a mad woman, in fact we've barely left the house. You'd think my house would be spotless then, right? No. It's not. It's picked up, it's clean and neat but it's not spotless. It's a home that's loved in and lived in. It's comfy, cozy, and full of us. The three of us. Myself, My Fiance, and our son.

There's a printer set up on the kitchen table because I'm still piecing together wedding invites. There's a couch full of bags from all of our running in and out. There's a box of wedding invites in the floor, ready at a moment's notice when I remember we forgot to slip one in the mail to someone. There's a stack of magazines in the decorative tray on the coffee table that i'm months behind on. The to do list on the side of the fridge has notes as simple as iron a's work clothes. My 31 bag is full of jewelry making supplies & sitting by the fireplace because I might want to make something at a moment's notice.

Right now i'm sitting on the couch, typing this. The t.v. is on Dr. Phil but it's muted, it's probably about someone else's family dysfunction that I really don't want to hear about. I'm tired of putting garbage and negativity into my life. I could change the channel to HGTV or something i'd be interested in but then I'd be interested in it and lose focus here. Here is where I need to be right now. Here, listening to my own heart. Letting go of things that don't really matter like t.v. and cleaning house.

This week hasn't been a bad week by any stretch of the imagination. I have more in my life to be happy for and blessed by than a lot of others do & i'm not taking that for granted but i've been in a funk. A sleep until 9-9:15 every day but still want to spend all day in my pajamas, funk. I did that Wednesday. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I sat down on the couch and found the Sex in the City movie was just coming on. This was at noon. It sucked me in until 3, when it went off by then it was time to do another load of laundry and figure out dinner since my love would be home soon. My favorite time of day has always been when he walks through the door in the afternoons but this last week it's especially been my favorite. I feel complete when he's home with me. I feel like nothing else matters. I realized yesterday that we had 86 days until we're married! I can't even begin to tell you how happy that makes me. It's the butterflies kind.

Last night as we were laying in bed, him drifting off, me wide awake listening to him breathing and thinking about how lucky I am, I realized I have a full heart. I have more blessings than I ever thought possible and that's enough for me. I said, out loud, "I can't believe we only have 86 days until we're married." In his sleepy haze he whispered "85" because it was almost midnight.

I've realized, this week. That it's okay to take time for me and to take a breather every now and then. To remember who I am and what I love because when I do, I find that I fall in love with life all over again and this life is a pretty amazing thing when I stop to think about it. I'm up on cloud 9 right now and I'm not coming down for a while.

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