Monday.

Hi Peachies! If you are a regular then you know I usually embrace Mondays. I'm all "Mondays are a fresh start" and "Make your Monday the happiest". But today is the Mondayest Monday ever. I need a nap for the next 3,685 hours. Maybe that's an exaggeration.
Okay, so it's not.
My morning started at 3:30 this morning when the dog got out of the bed and I got up to find her. I caught her and put her back in the bed, which was mistake number one because, instead of taking her place at the foot of the bed she curled up between my husband & I. I can't blame her, it was 63 in the house (and about 33 outside). She was cold and wanted to snuggle so she snuggled up next to my hubby and proceeded to kick me in the back for the next three hours. Fun times!

Usually my hubby is gone by the time I get up but this morning he didn't have to be in until 9 a.m. which meant he was home when my clock went off and I got moving. Bless that man. He brought me coffee in bed. His coffee is always the best but since he's gone before I get up I rarely get coffee made by him during the week. It's a weekend treat so it was even more special this morning.

My son didn't want to get out of bed this morning so I spent 20 minutes yelling from the living room at him to get up.
I really dislike starting our mornings like that but he's 13 & he despises mornings more than I do so this is what works.
We were struggling getting out the door on time this morning because my son couldn't find a matching pair of socks.
That errupted like a volcano inside my tired mama brain. "Dude! This is why I tell you to get everything ready for school the night before."
Yes, I was that mom. Nagging, grouchy, ill as a hornet Mom. I lectured him on the way to school about the importance of being ready and how he's a teenager and thinks he knows everything but "would you just listen to me for once?"

As i'm going on and on I look in my rear view mirror to notice him without his glasses and suddenly my ill, tired, grouchy mom self softened. "Did you forget your glasses?" "Yes, mom but I don't need them." I knew this was him trying to not make a big deal because of the lectured I just gave him but instead of taking him to school then bringing him his glasses I did something I never do. I turned the car around (actually we took the long way home) and I told him that we were going home to get his glasses. He could just check in late. I realized in that moment that I needed those few extra minutes in the car with him to make things right before I dropped him off at school.

I needed to apologize and explain that I didn't like starting our days like that. I explained that I know neither of us are morning people but could he just do what I asked to make mornings easier on both of us? He agreed (in his sarcastic teenage tone) but I think he meant it. As he was getting out of the car at school I made sure to tell him I love him. He mumbled it back because he was irritated with me but he still loves me. That's the great thing about un-conditional love. We can be ill with one another but apologize and move on.

Raising teenagers isn't for the faint of heart. Actually raising humans and having relationships with them isn't for the faint of heart. Sometimes even being human is tough, especially when your heart is in the right place but you are just plain exhausted. That was me this morning. I was not my best version of myself. I was not acting with grace and understanding and forgiveness until I had that moment where I realized that I wasn't being who my son needed me to be then.

Yes, it may be the Mondayest Monday ever but that doesn't give me permission to be anything less than the graceful, love filled, caring person I am meant to be. I can only hope that some day my son understands that my heart was always in the right place.





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