Coffee Chat vol. 4

Happy Monday, Peaches! It's been a while since i've written a coffee chat post. The last one I wrote was just a couple weeks before we found out we are expecting and I was still drinking coffee on the daily. Sometimes even twice a day. Since then I did the one thing I thought i'd never do and gave up coffee. I know, it still shocks me, too but it's been six months today since I've had my last cup. My OB doctor said it was best if I could stay away from it so I have. There are days I try to convince my husband that I *NEED* him to make me a cup, hoping he'll forget but he never does. Of course that was one of the appointments he has been able to go to with me so he heard it for himself straight from the source so...what's a girl to do? He's promised me a cup of my favorite Kauai coffee as soon as I can have it though. November i'm looking at you but in the mean time, it's all worth it for a healthy baby girl. So we're going to improvise these coffee chats and pretend so go pour yourself a mug full of coffee (extra for me, please).

I'll wait until you get back.



If you and I were on a coffee date...

We would be cozy in my favorite cafe eating breakfast and having all the coffee. I would be eating a Bacon Bialy; a breakfast sandwich on a croissant with bacon, egg and honey sauce that is to die for. I would be drinking an Irish Creme coffee. This is my favorite cozy little cafe, it's my happy place really.

I would tell you...

This summer was a roller coaster of emotions. We found out we're expecting in March, school let out in May and we lost our 14 year old cat to kidney and liver failure and an infection in his mouth and in June our family from Illinois came down for a week and our son fell 20 feet from a tree and fractured his pelvis in three places. It was a summer i'd rather forget if I could, all except our happy news that we're having a baby and time with our Illinois family.

There's so much to cover here but i'll start from the beginning.

In March we found out we're expecting. I had been feeling bad for about a week but nothing too bad, usually my allergies act up around this time of year and my husband had already been to the doctor with a severe sinus infection so I just figured it was my turn to face the pollen and deal with allergies, it happens every year around this time. Plus after two and a 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant and having negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test every month it never even crossed my mind that I might actually be pregnant so I started taking my Zyrtec and Flonase daily and going on with my life. About a week later I realized I hadn't started that month yet. I'm regular and was using an app to track my cycle so I knew I was supposed to start that day or maybe the day before-I forget now but at any rate it was time. I was still doubtful but I figured it was still worth checking because I was taking allergy meds and didn't want to take any chances so I ran to CVS and bought a couple tests, took them home, did my thing and left one on the counter dreading looking at it in a few minutes because I just knew it was another negative and nothing more than allergies bothering me but to my surprise the positive started to show within seconds, before I even turned my back. I sat there shocked and bewildered, not really thinking anything but it must be a false positive (I know you can't really get a false positive but I wasn't ready to get my hopes up yet). Through out the day I kept going in the bathroom to look at the test, thinking that it would be negative and maybe I had imagined the whole thing but every single time it was still positive. Still not convinced I took the other test and it, too, turned positive within seconds. I knew by then it was real but I didn't want to tell my husband over the phone so I just kept it to myself for the rest of the day. I was able to stay calm and collected all day, even when my husband walked through the door from work. It wasn't until we were in our bedroom and he was changing that I told him. As he was getting ready to leave the bedroom I told him to wait, i had something for him. He looked very bewildered, it wasn't near our birthdays or anniversary so he wasn't sure what to expect but I ran into the bathroom and came out with both tests and handed them to him. His reaction was priceless. He grabbed me and hugged me so tight I had to fight to breathe for a minute then he asked me if I was serious. I told him that I couldn't make this kind of thing up and we hugged and cried more. Two and a half years we waited for this baby and wondered, at times if it would ever really happen for us. Of course we are both more than happy with our son and he's the better part of this family but we also wanted a baby of our own. My husband has no biological children of his own but he's adopted my son as his. There were times we felt like it wasn't in the cards for us and times we had to tell people we were okay with that because it was all in God's plan. There were times though that it was a lie. We both wanted this so badly but we stayed strong for each other and now we're adding to the family and we couldn't be more excited.

In May our 14 year old cat, Chance, started bleeding from his mouth one day. Me being the optimist I am believed it was nothing serious, he had allergy issues before that caused him to bleed from his mouth and nose so I chalked this up to more of the same. Call it what you will but I was in denial that anything was wrong with my second baby. I got him when my son was a year old, they grew up together, he'll always be my second baby. On day two I texted my husband at work and told him Chance wasn't getting any better and I was going to find a vet who was opened on the weekends, because, by now it was Friday evening. My cousin gave her the number of her vet that is open 7 days a week until midnight so I called and made our boy an appointment for Saturday morning. By this point he was hiding and not eating much food but still drinking lots of water so I bought him some canned food and he was a happy camper, eating a can a day. Not his normal amount of food but it was more than he has been eating. At his first appointment the vet told us that he had some infection in his gums and would have to have a tooth (or teeth) pulled, we wouldn't be sure how many until he took a round of antibiotics and anti-inflamatories and the infection in his gums went down. We left that night with our cat, two bottles of medicine and a happy, grateful heart that this was curable. After a couple days though things still weren't getting better, in fact, he was now throwing blood clots from his mouth and drooling blood constantly. He didn't come out of hiding expect for one or two nights when we went to bed. We'd hear him top toeing through the house to go to his litter box and occasionally snuggle up in his spot next to me in the bed. So we made him another appointment. At this one it was determined that the meds weren't working on their own and we were sent home with three meds and a heart still full of hopes. The first time we gave him his new med he wasn't acting like himself though. He immediately started hiding in the corner away from me. When I pulled him out and made him sit with me he would try to walk away and stumble then he put his head down on the floor and tumbled. It was at this point that I knew something wasn't right so once again I texted my husband with an up-date and we were on our way back to the vet that night. It was determined then that he was dehydrated on top of everything else and we could let him go or let him stay the might and be hydrated. After about 20 minutes of talking through the tears and making the decision that financially we could do this, it would just mean money was tight for a while, we agreed that he was more than a cat to us, he was another child so we agreed to let him stay the night and get fluids. The next morning the vet called with news that I was not expecting to hear. I don't remember what day of the week it was, I only know it was March 20th and my husband got off work early because we were loosing our boy. That night he, myself, our son and Willow pup went to say our goodbyes. When they brought him in the room with us I sat in the floor with my husband and I held my Chance for the last time. I told him not to worry about us, that we would be alright. We just didn't want him to suffer anymore. I shared with him all my memories of him and my son together (which made my teenager cry, too). I didn't want to let him go but I knew it was the best thing for him. I couldn't hold him as he passed away but my husband was my rock and held him. I petted him until they stuck the needle in him and clung to my husband and hid my face in his shirt as I cried rivers of tears for my baby. Once it was over they left us and him (him covered up) and let us say our final goodbyes. My husband asked if I wanted to see him one more time but I didn't think I did so he didn't un-cover him until I wasn't looking then he un-covered him to say his final goodbyes (we had sent Willow and Dylan to the car because my son didn't want to see him being put to sleep). As my husband un-covered him I glanced over and saw my boy resting peacefully. The last thing I ever said to him was "I'll always love you and your whiskers(I have a fascination with whiskers on cats-they're so cute and his were forever tickling me when he rubbed on me). As we walked out of that building and into the car with my son and Willow I felt at peace and dreading what was to come at the same time. I knew we had to now go home without our boy. He would never sleep next to me on the bed again and he would never be there to get between me and my computer when I was blogging. My life felt emptier without him. It still does, honestly. My husband said that for the next few nights in my sleep I would call out for Chance or reach over to pet him in my sleep. There was even one night I cried in my sleep. I'll always miss that sweet boy of mine. He was there for me as a single mom raising my son and through every tear filled relationship I had until my husband came along. He was there through the loss of my Grandpa and every other big moment in my adult life. I still find myself glancing behind the bathroom door for him sometimes and some days I still cry over him. Today is three months to the day that we lost him and my heart still isn't whole.

June started with our family from Illinois coming down for a week. There was lots of time spent at the pool, crafting and re-planting succulents and lots of good food. They come down here for a week every summer to spend time with us and honestly, it's my favorite week of the year. We spend our days by the pool and rarely put on make up or real clothes. Their first day here was actually the day before Father's Day. I knew while they were here I wanted to do a gender reveal for them. It ended up being all of us plus my brother, sister in law, and nephew and it was the most simple but memorable day ever. We popped a balloon filled with pink glitter and announced to all of them. I think my Aunt was most excited of all. Unfortunately this is the same week my son fell 20 feet out of a tree and fractured his pelvis in 3 places. We spent the night in the ER and then were transferred to a Level 1 Trauma Center in Atlanta. I have never been more nervous or tired in all my life. Luckily all is well with him now. He used a walker for the first week and was in a good amount of pain but he's super tough so within a week he was walking on crutches and taking minimal pain meds. By week three he was good to go and a month after the accident he was cleared by the resurgens doctor and has been feeling great ever since. He's lucky that he's young and fit and his injuries weren't more severe. It was an event i'll never forget. My mama heart has never been more scared.

So our summer was a mix of highs and lows but it has brought me and my husband and son even closer than we ever were before. It's crazy how everything can change in the blink of an eye. It sure did for us several times in just a matter of months. I'm happy to report now that we are all happy, healthy and doing better than ever. Baby Girl is still growing perfectly and her brother hasn't climbed anymore trees.

If we were on a coffee date what would you tell me?