Thursday, December 10, 2015
Hi Peachies. Welcome to my sweet little slice of the internet. I hope you're all having an amazing week. If you follow me here or on any other form of social media you may have noticed that things have slowed down a bit for me. After Thanksgiving I decided that I would take the month of December to slow down and savor the moments of the season. Before I got to that life threw me a curve ball and made me slow down before I even knew what was happening. I spent the first week of December bawling my eyes out every day because someone else's jealousy and selfishness has flipped my family's whole world upside down. I sat in front of our lit up tree everyday and cried. I took my son to school, picked him up and that was the only time I left my house for an entire week. Here we are in the midst of my favorite holiday and I couldn't get in that holly jolly spirit. I felt like I was inside of a snow globe. The setting was gorgeous but it felt like the snowflakes were falling all around me, out of control. It sent my world in a spiral. I've worked hard to make sure my son's life has always been happy and full of nothing but love and stability but someone came along and used their own jealousy towards his step dad & I to hurt us. It really hurt my son more though. We're doing everything we can to keep his world as happy and stable as it was before. I put on my brave face in front of him and handle things as a mom should but behind closed doors I was crying. My husband had to remind me several times that we aren't quitters and we can handle this. Those vows we took just two months ago, I never thought I'd be using the "for better or worse" part so soon into our marriage.
I spent the better part of the week crying to my mom and my neighbor. Both who gave me the best advice that I needed to hear. They both said to let God handle it. That everything works out for a reason and they know we'll all make it through this. Sometimes you just need to hear that someone else has a little faith in you. My neighbor also told me not to pray for justice to be served. She shared with me a story about a time she had wished that and then when it all went awry, she looked it up in the Bible. Her story touched me and made me think that revenge is not the way to go about this but instead, to go about it the way I was raised. With class and dignity, as a Christian. Am I still mad at this person? Very much so. Do I wish her harm? At this point, no. I just wish this person would disappear out of my life and let me be forever and ever amen.
So Sunday of last week I told my husband, as I sat in his lap at the dinner table, after we were done eating that I am done crying over this. Of course i'm still hurt but I'm not crying over it anymore. I just need to "Be still and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10 This is one of the hardest decisions i've had to make, to give up my own selfishness and control and let God handle this because the Lord is going to stand with me and strengthen me through this. Maybe he's using this situation to change me.
Today I took a shower then decided to declare it pajama day and a day for me to reconnect with myself. I'm doing something I haven't done since before my wedding in September, I'm sitting downstairs in my little corner of the office (my favorite part of the house) and savoring every moment by doing devotionals and writing blog posts. The rest of the world can wait. I need this time for me and that's okay. We all need a time out sometimes. We all need to give ourselves permission to put everything away and focus on what WE need. We can not be good for anyone else if we are not good for ourselves. There are times when I don't even want to be around myself, such as lately. Those are times when I can't believe anyone else wants to be, either but yet my husband always wants to. That's un-conditional love but he deserves the best of me, not just the mess. So for today, I give myself permission to sit here, in my pajamas, forgetting the rest of the world and forgetting my responsibilities because it is my main responsibility to take care of me. If you're going through something like this, then give yourself permission to slow down and focus on YOU! You'll be a better, happier person because of it, I promise.
This devotional today really touched me, too. Download the First 5 app to read more about it.
Do you hear him speaking or are you so caught up in your activities and plans that you are missing His voice?
Prayer: Lord, I confess I am a talker and a planner. I don't ever want to be so busy talking and planning that I miss the magnificence of Your divine presence in my life. Interrupt me. Don't let me miss a word You have to say. Help me be still and listen.
As for the rest of the month, i'll be slowing down and savoring the moments. I may not be blogging a whole lot but feel free to follow me on Instagram & Snapchat georgiapeachy82 to see what I'll be up to.
Have a Happy December and a Merry Christmas friends.