Hi Peachies. Today I need to share some things on my heart and soul. I need to clear my mind and be honest with you. I'm a mess of emotions and feelings right now. I'm allowing myself to get in my own head and make a mess of the blessings i've been given. Don't worry, this isn't a Dear Diary post. I've already spent my time doing that this morning and it felt good to get those words out on paper and leave them there but I feel like, as bloggers, we like to share the bright and bubbly side of life and sometimes we aren't great about sharing the real moments. The moments we struggle with. That's why I want to share this with you.
This morning I woke up at 6. It's a whole hour and a half earlier than I have been lately. After I laid in bed for 30 minutes I decided I wanted to grab a cup of coffee and sit out on our front porch and read my daily devotional while the sun came up.
Instagram post this morning
6:40. am-I haven't been awake this early all summer but apparently I missed it more than I knew. There's something about sitting outside with a good cup of coffee, in your favorite pajamas, watching the cotton candy sky as the sun comes up that just inspires & excites me. #lesliessparkofhappiness #lesliesinspiredlife #coffeelover
Today's devotional really spoke to me & left me feeling inspired so I grabbed my phone and opened my Calm app and meditated then I grabbed my yoga mat and started to do some yoga. Something changed though. Instead of remembering what I had just read in my devotional, "Everything we have-including our lives-is an expression of God's generosity to us", I looked around my house and all I saw was a mess. Every single room is a mess. I spend my days cleaning this house, making it a place of happiness and comfort for my family but to look at it, you can't tell. Now y'all, I realize I'll never live in a house that looks like a museum, nor do I want to. I want my family and friends to feel comfortable in my house but I do like to be able to tell i've done something. I'm blessed to be able to stay at home and take care of my son, my hubby, and our home but I take my role in this family seriously and sometimes it's hard not to feel overwhelmed.
I've been in such an inspired and #girlboss season in my life lately but today I simply feel over whelmed. It's times like these when I realize that I'm creating my own standard of perfection. I'm expecting myself to live up to something I simply can't because perfection isn't real. It's just an idea I've created in my own head. I know that no one expects anything un-realistic from me so why do I expect them from myself?
In January I picked out a word of the year. (You can read that post here.) My word was perfection because it's a word I want to take out of my mind, my head, my heart, and my life. I allow myself to be controlled by this false sense of perfection instead of seeing the blessings in everything. Most of the time I do okay with letting go of that silly thought but sometimes it still sneaks in and steals my joy.
I'm breaking up with perfection today. I'm going to choose happiness instead. My messy house is a sign of a family that's busy laughing, loving, and creating memories together. I'm blessed by the laundry piling up and the dishwasher that needs to be emptied because it means that we have clothes to protect us from the summer sun. It means we sleep comfortably in our favorite pajamas. It means we have food on our tables each day and night. I'm going to remember what I read in my devotional today and live in the generosity the Lord has given me.
I'm not perfect and that's okay.