Hey Peachies! I'm finally back! I'd like to say that the beginning of the year brings time for us to slow down and refresh but that simply isn't true. In fact, it's the opposite because it's birthday season for us and our family. We have eight birthdays in January and February. We are lucky enough though, to have all these people to celebrate and enjoy another trip around the sun with.
At 5:55 a.m. tomorrow my husband and I will officially be the parents of a teenager. Our boy turns 13! I can't even believe it myself but i'll save you all the cliche sayings. In honor of his thirteenth birthday I'm going to tell you thirteen things i've learned since becoming a Mom.
1. Motherhood often feels like a train wreck in the middle of a tornado.
The train wreck being you and the tornado being your little one.
2. If you breast feed or bottle feed, they're still going to eat that three day old french fry out of the floor board.
3. Mud attracts kids. It's like flies at a picnic. It just happens.
If there's a hole filled with water the kid will sit in it, even if it is chin deep.
4. Sometimes the kid has to go in the tub, clothes and all.
This happens after the baby devours his Grandpa's Thanksgiving dinner.
5. They're going to pee on you and poop in the tub.
(If you've avoided this you deserve a medal!)
6. They'll go through a phase of pretending to be something.
Sometimes it's a puppy and sometimes that puppy embarrasses you at the mall because you let puppy walk on their own (puppy is about 2)
and he'll yell, "you're hurting the puppy, let go." And everyone will look and you'll want to crawl under the bench and die.
7. Don't let your two year old keep his new tricycle in the house because it's December and it's too cold to go outside and play.
He'll ride it down the stairs into the basement and cry, not because of the knot on his head but because he can't get his tricycle back
8. On the plus side of number 7. Helium balloons make wonderful lifesavers if inflated and kept at the bottom of the steps the kid rides
their tricycle down. (Yes, this happened. The balloon saved his noggin from hitting the concrete floor when he rode that tricycle down.)
9. Go to lunch at your child's school with them.
You'll learn all kinds of things about his elementary school friends like who's dating who.
(True story, ya'll! Not kidding!)
10. Your one and a half year old will say "Hot Damn" and your friends will laugh and encourage it.
(No?!? Just me on this one?)
11. Your kid will tell you, "you sing pretty mama but you can't be on American Idol because you're my mom."
12. At your Grandpa's funeral, if they are recording memories of him, your 7 year old will have no fear as he stands up in front of that camera
and says "My grandpa used to call me a peckerhead." Again, you'll want to die. In fact, you might for a minute.
13. If your cild is in gifted classes in middle school he basically has the same college education as you.
You can forget helping them with common core math at this point because
6 cows + 34 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches=4,368 purple polka dotted jellyfish
When your kid is 13, you'll look at him and think, he's sos much like me and I don't like it. Then you'll look at your mom and think, i'm so much like her. And if she's half the woman mine is then you know you'll be okay. After all, my mom let all three of us survive the teenage years. That's my only hope for the next 5 years of his life. But really, he is an amazing kid and I wouldn't change anything in the world about him or our relationship. Here's to many more years of birthdays and memories!
What's something you've learned as a mom?