A Day of Rememberance

Today is a very somber day. The weather feels it as does my heart. It's very bright and sunny one minute and dark and cloudy the next. My heart feels that way, too as I sit here and anxiously await 3:00 when I can go pick up my son from school then go to my parents house and wait until 4:30 when my Fiance gets off work. Until then I'll probably feel empty inside and worried, too. See today marks the 13 year anniversary of the attacks on our Nation. I sat glued to my t.v. in the 9 o'clock hour, waiting and expecting to see another attack like 13 years go but hopeful that it wouldn't happen. It didn't, luckily, but I still feel a sense of unease. Maybe it's because the President just declared us to go back to war, maybe it's the threat of ISIS, maybe it's a leader I can't trust. Whatever the case may be, I know that today is a very important day, not just in history but in the present as well. It's a day I have witnessed for myself, not just by learning about it sitting in a classroom, reading a text book.

The morning of 9-11 I woke, just like every other day. I didn't have anywhere to go (I didn't have a kid yet), so I turned on the t.v. and laid in bed. The t.v. just happened to be turned to the news station when it came on so I saw the breaking news of the first plane hit the first tower, within seconds it aired live, before my eyes, the second plane hitting the second tower. I sat shocked and numb. I believe the rest of the day was spent with my mom in front of the t.v. watching the days events un-fold and re-play time and again. The images of those poor people jumping from The World Trade Center were horrifying and still haunt me to this day. I can't begin to imagine what they were thinking, what they felt and how they made the decision to jump. It's terrible. I like to believe those people knew God and knew they were going to Heaven no matter what happened. I didn't know anyone personally that was affected by the attacks but I felt as if I knew every single person involved. My heart hurt for all of them and their loved ones and it still does.

It wasn't until last 9-11 that I learned that my soon to be Father in Law was supposed to be on the flight that was hi-jacked and crashed in Pennsylvania. Luckily he wasn't but his family didn't know that at the time. My fiancée has told me the story of how that day un-folded for him, his mom and his sister (I'm not going to share that though, that's their story to tell). I'm glad he wasn't on that flight though because I can't imagine our lives without him. That's the closest I came to losing someone in all the terrorist attacks and technically I wasn't part of the family yet (my fiancée and I were best friends but nothing more at the time).

Thirteen years later I have a son and my fiancé and I can't imagine life without either of them. So before I took my son to school I sat on the couch and had a moment with God. I prayed to him to watch over this Nation, this State, and all the people I love. I prayed that he would keep my fiancée and my son safe and at the end of the day bring them home to me because I know that I won't be whole until we're all back under one roof, safe tonight. I also know that no matter what happens my God is bigger than any terrorist.

~Never Forget~