L-O-V-E

Thirty the number of years it took me to find the love of my life.
Nine the number of years I was a single mom before I found him.
Tweleve the number of years he was my best friend before he was my boyfriend.
Five the number of months we've been together.
Forever, how long we'll be together.


It's true that it took me thirty years to find true love, and it's true that when we started dating we had been best friends for twelve years.

We met right out of high school at a mutual friend's house and became insta-friends. We never dated, though if I had known then what I know now we'd have been together all this time. Anyway, life happened, he got married, I got pregnant, our group of friends changed and most of us lost touch (for me it was by choice) but he and I always stayed in touch. We talked weekly, sometimes more and he was always the guy I cried on when my relationships with other guys were rocky. He gave me advice, some of the best being "never settle, some day you'll find someone who deserves you."

Over the next 10 years, he was married and I was in two serious (or somewhat serious) relationships and dated a few guys. My last relationship was getting rocky, I was always un-happy and ready to get out of it but I couldn't shake the guy. I was settling because I felt like time was running out. I was in my thirties, I'd never be able to complete my family, I'd never get married, blah blah blah. Crazy thoughts, right? Especially since I'm the one who's always telling people age is nothing but a number. Tell that to your internal clock though, she doesn't get it.

One day I get a call from my bestie, no big deal, I thought, he called all the time. "She left me", say what? "My wife, she left. Can I come see you?" Of course was my answer was yes but all along i'm kinda panicking inside, "if my boyfriend finds out he'll be jealous, he'll be mad" Then my good ol conscious kicked in and went "shut up, your friend needs you and if bf can't get it he's certainly not the one for you." True conscious, true. Besides I was kinda over him at this point anyway. It was then I realized that I HAD to break up with bf and I did. He begged, pleaded, and even called my mom to try to talk some sense in to me, or so he thought-that didn't go as planned.

After talking to my bestie and letting him cry on my shoulder for a couple weeks he started talking about girls he was meeting around town and how he was getting their numbers, it was actually at this point I broke up with my bf because I was totally interested in my bestie, had been for quiet a while actually but that whole wife thing stood in the way. I'm not bold enough to say hey, i'm interested in you" even to my best friend. We could talk to each other about everything and did up until that point but that, that was a game changer and I didn't have the guts so I hoped he'd see me as a possible love. After I broke up with what's his face I told bestie that we go out to dinner one night, in my mind, just as friends because at this point I didn't think he was interested in me In any other way because of one comment he made "You're the perfect woman for me except you have a kid." Thanks for the compliment, I think but it didn't hurt me because our friendship was that purely honest. We just said what we were feeling and that left no room for guessing or un-certainty.

The next night, on Saturday December 15th, we went to out. I asked him where he wanted to meet, his answer was "I'll pick you up" hint #1 it's a date ladies! Of course I thought he was just being the gentleman he is. We went to O'Charley's this is where he'll tell you every single detail of the night, from what I was wearing to what I ordered to the way I looked at him (hint #2 it's a date). I just remember feeling like something was different between us as I gazed at him, thinking how gorgeous he was as he was telling me how he was thinking about moving to South Carolina after everything went down. I felt devastated, I felt panicked and I must have looked that way too because he assured me he wasn't moving and it was because of me. Now, at this point you'd think I'd be entertaining the thought of this as a date, maybe more but nope, not me. I swear if he had held a banner up saying "I love you" I wouldn't have believed him.

After dinner he casually mentioned that he needed to go check on his house because his neighbor had been burning leaves close to his house when he left, he asked if that was okay, my answer was "sure." Naïve on my part and smooth on his. Once we got to the house there was no fire, maybe there was earlier in the day but not then. So we sat on the couch, he turned on the t.v., scrolled through and there was nothing on so we picked out a movie on Netflix. I surprised him by picking Machine Gun Preacher, I'd been wanting to see it since people in my math class the summer before were talking about it.

I laid on the couch, my head in his lap and we watched the movie. At some point in the movie he reached for my hand and held it until it was over. It was at this point it hit me "this might be a date". Still un-sure and not wanting to over think it I just laid there, my hand in his and a million thoughts in my mind. When it was over we got in his truck and headed home, where again, he held my hand the entire time. At this point my heart is about to race out of my chest, thank God it was dark in there because i'm sure my facial expression was matching my freaking out on the inside. When we got home, he walked me to the door, told me goodnight and he had a great night then he kissed me, not a little goodbye friend kind either. Of course I kissed him back! Since then we've been inseperable.

The rest of the story had to wait for later, time to go get my boy from school and cook and clean. Back to mommy life, which I wouldn't trade for the world!